Learning from Lacey's Legacy

The morning of April 9, 2014 many people awoke to the news that Lacey Holsworth, an 8 year old little girl in Michigan had died of cancer around 1:00am that morning.  People who have never met Lacey were saddened by her passing and felt that they themselves had lost a loved one.  While it is always sad when someone dies, especially a child, many felt connected to her touching story because it unfolded very publicly after an encounter in 2012 at Sparrow Hospital with Michigan State basketball star Adreian Payne.  The two formed an immediate bond which strengthened and grew over time.  As many learned of her battle with cancer, there was an outpouring of love and support showed to her and her family from total strangers.  You didn’t have to be a Spartan fan, to be a fan of Lacey cheering her on through her battle with Neuroblastoma.  Princess Lacey (a nickname she affectionately took on) was such a young spirit, but there are so many great lessons that we can learn from her. 

All too often, we get caught up in the hype and bravado that we have to be a well-known, wealthy or highly influential person to make a difference or be important.  Lacey taught us that significance comes in all sizes and ages.  As an 8 year old little girl she lived her life with courage, and had a tremendous positive influence on others.  A pebble can be dropped in a pond and even though it’s not the biggest rock there will be a ripple effect created.  This can positively influence the lives of others, so it’s not always necessary to be the biggest, loudest voice in the room, just the most genuine. 

When Lacey was sitting in Sparrow Hospital in 2012 recovering from surgery, she had no specific laid out plans to cut down a net at the Big Ten Championship game, watch Adreian Payne in the dunk contest in Dallas, TX, or go on the Today Show and Good Morning America.  Would it be cool?  Of course.  But Lacey was living her life, determined to smile through her discomfort and the life altering difficulties that cancer presented.  That determination lead to her building a bond with Adreian Payne, which lead to inspiring a whole basketball team, and eventually others across the nation.  Lacey was creating her own ripple effect by being herself.

Lacey’s determination and courage to keep smiling and make the most out of her days is something else that we all can learn from.  It’s easy to get caught up in the complaints of our daily lives because something isn’t going right, or it’s not going the way we planned it.  This isn’t to mitigate the serious nature of what’s happening, but it’s too easy for that negativity to consume us and dictate how we interact with those we love and others.  I’ve been guilty of it on certain occasions myself, so you won’t find any finger pointing here.  But what if we shifted our perspective a bit and took the time to be thankful for what we have in our lives?  What if we approached each day being thankful for being able to see the sun rise, thankful for having people in our lives who love us, and looking for the silver lining of different moments? 

Lacey was grateful for each day she had, because she never knew what day would be her last.  She always had a smile on her face whenever the camera would show her in the stands at a game, or when strangers would ask for pictures with her, even though she had so much going on in her life.  If we approached life with a little more gratefulness would our interactions with others change, would we enjoy the little moments a bit more, and not take so much for granted?

The legacy that Lacey has left behind will be impossible to measure.  She touched the lives of so many people and will continue to remain in the hearts of many.  A vigil at MSU in her memory brought out droves of people in and outside of the community many of whom signed a famous landmark rock on Michigan State University’s campus.  The rock usually gets repainted with something new every 24 hours, from student group names, to events, to proposals, etc., but that same message in her memory (pictured below) has been there since April 9^th with more and more people making the journey to sign it with prayers, words of encouragement for the family, and messages of love.  Her story has inspired ESPN sports analyst Dick Vitale a long-time advocate for cancer research to set up a research fund in her name (click here). 

Lacey was just a child, but the way she lived embodied the words of a former famous basketball coach Jim Valvano who died of cancer as well, “Cancer can take away all my physical abilities. It cannot touch my mind, it cannot touch my heart and it cannot touch my soul. And those three things are going to carry on forever.”

While you or I may not have cancer, if we live like Lacey with courage genuineness and determination, and love like Lacey (like it says at the bottom of the rock), while staying true to ourselves, we can leave our lasting impression on the world, and fully enjoy each and every day.

What's your legacy?

As you know the passing of Nelson Mandela has been all over the news lately.  We have all heard and read in the recent few days about the impact and the leadership that he has shown the world throughout his life.  The frequent discussion about the legacy he has left through death, brought me to think about a challenge I pose to those I have supervised when they start working on my team.  Knowing that they will eventually move on to other jobs and endeavors, I would always ask them, “What do you want your legacy to be when you leave this position?”  Typically this exercise comes in the form of planning and professional development conversations with team members I supervise, but it can easily be placed into the context of every-day life.

It can be extremely overwhelming to look at a man like Nelson Mandela and try to live up to his legacy. Don’t get caught up in being like someone else, or trying to meet their standard.  It’s great to have a role model, but I encourage you to be your own person and utilize your strengths.  This does not mean you shouldn’t try to be great or challenge yourself to think outside of the box.  I’m simply saying do not try to one-up, or match someone else’s legacy, be yourself.

So where do you start?  Start with thinking about what realm of your life you want to start focusing on and you can move on from there.  We are all involved in different things in our lives ranging from church groups, to our jobs, to associations we belong to, or places where we volunteer our time, etc.  You can aim to leave a legacy in all of those aspects of your life and it doesn’t have to be through death.  You can leave a legacy behind through moving to a new place, or moving on to new opportunities.  It can however be difficult to think of all of them at once, so break it down by taking one at a time, and then start with your purpose.  Think about the purpose of why you are involved in that specific group or why you want to start a new endeavor (maybe it’s your own business or a non-profit).

From there, you can begin to think about the goals you’d like to accomplish, as well as your sphere of influence in order to accomplish those goals.  Begin to consider what goals you would like to be known for accomplishing, or maybe there is an initiative that you would like to start within that sphere of influence, or a major project that you want to be involved in.  As you begin to put your time, energy and focus into accomplishing what you’ve set out to do, you will begin to intentionally formulate a legacy. 

I have a close friend that used to say something to students that I have said to others, and carry with me as I encourage people to be the best that they can be.  In regards to making decisions she used to say, “Make sure that you can say yes to two questions.  Is this decision helping me to be who I am? Is this helping me to be who I want to become?”  When we make decisions each day, whether they are big or small, sometimes we will end up with legacies that happen unintentionally because we were simply being true to ourselves.  I do not want to create the misperception that all legacies can be created and controlled.  But if you start being more mindful of the things that you do and say, making sure that they are reflecting who you are, and who you want to become, the chances are that your legacy will eventually be exactly what you want it to be.

So what’s your legacy going to be?