Strengths and Weaknesses

We are all pretty familiar with the terms strengths and weaknesses.  Sometimes they are used to weigh the options of a personal choice, categories on an employee evaluation, or a question in an interview such as “What are your strengths, and weaknesses?”  I’ve come across it multiple times in those situations as well as while running S.W.O.T. analysis in the beginning stages of project development to evaluate its potential before full development, and launching it.  (S.W.O.T stands for Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, and Threats)  No matter the setting, strengths and weaknesses are common bedfellows but frequently used in opposition to each other.

Despite the words being used in a contrasting way, which is a context that they are habitually placed in, let us suppose that a strength can be a weakness and vice versa.  Initially this sounds like something that can’t truly be possible because one tends to think that if my strengths are what I’m good at, there is no way it can be something I’m bad at as well.  The reality is, that it is very possible, and something that we need to be aware of as we all embark in roles of leadership and supervision as well as in our daily personal lives. 

I was engaged in a conversation with a friend recently, and we were talking about optimism and how it can be a great quality to have, but be a hindrance as well.  During this discussion it was brought up that with a great amount of optimism it is easy to find the silver lining and see that things will work out for the better.  On the surface, we can all agree that this is an uplifting and empowering disposition to have.  However, as the conversation progressed, I began to understand that sometimes this way of thinking can prevent someone from facing the realities of certain circumstances.  In turn it can stunt someone from stepping out of their comfort zone to take the action steps necessary in the interim before that desired optimistic ending happens. 

Therefore finding a balance is important, and it’s healthy to have a little fear mixed in with that optimism shifting from the thought process of "It will all work out!", to "I better make something work out."  Some label the “It’ll all work out” attitude as fatalistic optimism and as my friend pointed out in our discussion, a balance is crucial to have so that one can take important actions along the way of reaching the light at the end of the tunnel.

My penchant for conversation that exercises my brain left me processing this idea of your strengths can be your weaknesses long after the conversation was over.  As I mulled it over during this time, it was very evident that it can be true with almost any positive trait that we have, and the same is true for traits that we label our weaknesses.  They can become strengths, in the right situations, but it heavily depends on the situation you’re in and how you are using your traits at that instantaneous point. 

Whether it is in the workplace or in your personal life it is important to do a lot of self-reflection to be aware of what your strengths and weaknesses are.  Furthermore self-awareness to know how you are using those traits, and the effect they can have when fully dominant is important as well.  We should know how best to utilize our strengths and weaknesses, and when to balance them out to maximize our productivity at work and at home. 

The Importance of Mentors

This weekend I was having a conversation with some good friends about mentoring and its necessity in the life of college aged males.  We were talking about this demographic because we have intentionally served in the role of a mentor for such males through our work, or fallen into it by circumstances where we found ourselves in that role.  The conversation shifted into a more generalized population of mentoring youth (male and female) because we had all done that before too, but it left me thinking about mentorship.  Mentoring is significant not just in the simplistic way that we typically consider it with age differential and learning from your elders.  Mentoring is crucial to workplace success as well as in friendships and family. 

When I was in graduate school, my supervisor for my assistantship was a very influential workplace mentor.  We could laugh and joke about things, but ultimately she wasn’t afraid to hold me accountable, and have the meaningful and insightful conversations that would eventually help push me to become a better professional.  Sounds like what a supervisor should do, but we know many who don’t follow this formula.  It was the care and concern to teach, not just scold that made the difference.  Not only did she talk the talk with me as she gave me advice, but she walked the walk as I observed her interactions with other people she supervised.  After moving into another position within the organization, I was able to have another supervisor who served a very similar role.  He would constantly challenge and support me to bring the best out of my performance, but he also took the time to help me work on my personal development through my work. 

This type of workplace mentoring is very crucial to building healthy workplace culture.  It is typically referred to as mentor leadership because the leaders within the organization are grooming those that will eventually take the organization into new directions and help it grow.  It feeds into a workplace culture of unity and teamwork, while focusing on making individuals feel valued and respected.  Furthermore, it presents a more holistic approach to supervising individuals instead of just being a ‘boss’ to them.  My mentors always said that I should supervise and mentor supervisees in a way that they can eventually work their way up to be your future peer coworker.  I adopted that philosophy to my supervision, and little did they both know that I would eventually become just that to both of them.  Later on, some people that I supervised would become my peer coworkers as well.  With all of that happening, it truly taught me how important that advice was early in my career experience.

As I’m sure you’re aware, mentors don’t exist in just the workplace, mentors are very important in your personal life as well.  As we go through life we are faced with celebrations and tribulations.  We are faced with obstacles that sometimes seem insurmountable but we get through them.  Ultimately it is up to us to find the motivation to get through these times.  While this is true, there are people in your life who believe in you enough to take the time and effort to help you and support you along the way.  These people are extremely caring and should never be taken for granted.  Some of them will fall into the role of being a mentor to you because you’ll find that their experience, words of guidance, and efforts to help, are critical to your success.  They want to see you succeed just as much as you want to succeed and they’re willing to be there for you along the way.  These relationships should be cultivated and maintained because they are beneficial to your support network in life.  They may not always say what you want to hear, but it’s always something you need to hear.  Sometimes they will encourage you and challenge you to go beyond the limits you’ve set for yourself and in that process of motivation and support is where mentorship is found. 

Having said this it is also necessary to pay it forward.  The concept behind ‘pay it forward’ is that the positivity that you receive in any form, should be mirrored by you doing something kind and just for someone else.  Applying this phrase to mentorship as you progress and move through life it’s important to be there for someone else the same way that someone was there for you.  This is should happen because someone believed in you enough to help you in some way when you needed it.  Therefore you should be willing to help someone else that you believe in as well.

Our communities are constantly in need of mentors and there are people in your life who consider you a mentor whether you’re aware of it or not.  Never lose sight of how you got to your position in life and who was there believing in you when you were struggling, and celebrating you when you were doing well.  Life isn’t always just the roses, it’s the thorns too.  Those that have helped you through both are the people who are a great support network that you can depend on.  As you look at your sphere of influence, and consider the kindness that others have showed you, think about how you can take the time and effort to pay it forward.

 

Coaching at Work

If I had a dollar for every time I heard “There is no I in team.” from a coach, I’d be almost as rich as someone who went pro.  I have very fond and vivid memories of the sports that I played throughout my youth.  I remember the coaches I had and the teammates I played with.  My love for soccer started in second grade when I played on my first organized team, and basketball started when I was in sixth grade.  I played both sports through high school and I genuinely loved being on the field or the court.  My experiences there and my love for all sports helped mold how I viewed leadership during those years and influences how I currently view it now.

The first time I started supervising people was late in undergrad when I ran an orientation team. I had been on the team, but I had never been in charge of the team.  Admittedly I was intimidated.  How do I manage a group of people when I’ve never done this before?  As I struggled to figure it out in the weeks before the first meeting, that’s when it hit me.  Just do what your coaches did to get people to work together.  It was then that I began to fuse my love of sports and leadership together. 

Before I knew it, I found myself coaching not on a court but coaching in the workplace.  The ghosts of coaches past and all the words of wisdom that they utilized to inspire us to play were now being rebranded by me as I supervised my team of employees.  (Minus a few locker room expletives which of course weren’t appropriate for a work environment.)  Throughout my time supervising, my leadership style has been refined.   I have been faced with challenging and easy teams to work with, but getting them to perform, and achieve greatness became my new ‘winning the game’. 

I have to admit, I’m always thinking of leadership and how it plays out, so I was touched by a shirt that I saw while walking in the mall one day.  It said “There is no ‘I’ in team, but there is a ‘me’.”  Instantaneously I had a dramatic revelation of how this would be my new mantra as a supervisor.  It would also become what I would instill in training those I supervised on how to supervise their own staff teams.

It doesn’t take rocket science to figure out that you can’t be a leader without followers.  As a supervisor you have to be a good leader for your staff to buy into your vision and mission.  But you have to start with yourself.  You have to buy into your vision and mission and be a role model for them before you can get anyone else to buy in and follow what you expect of them.  Therefore like the t-shirt says, it starts with me. 

When the staff doesn’t perform, the blame typically falls on the leader and the whole team has a bad name.  Much like we see coaches in sports who have a losing team, more often than not, everyone holds that coach responsible for the team losing.  He/she gets dragged through the mud with the team’s name because they are a part of the team too.  The drive to be better should not only be an extrinsic force coming from the fans.  The drive to be better needs to be an intrinsic force as well coming from within.  That coach needs to look within and take a step to make the team better.
The mind blowing part is that this doesn’t only go for the supervisor/coach, but this goes for the staff/team members as well.  I remember sharing with a staff I supervised that “We as a team can only be as good as the weakest player”.  It was imperative for my staff to know that we are all in this together.  Think about any time you’ve worked on a team.  We have all been on a staff before where someone likes to take all the credit for when great things happen.   As soon as something bad happens they shirk the blame stating what they’ve done right, and like a weather vane in the wind, their finger starts pointing in all sorts of directions trying to distribute responsibility for the failure.  People who do this believe that the success is mine, but the failure is yours.  But as I stated before the team is only as good as the weakest player. 

So when you dissect the phrase on the t-shirt, it is saying that each employee and their supervisor need to look within and instead of saying “But I did…” they all need to take a look in the mirror saying “the success of this team starts with me.”  If everyone on the team approaches their work ethic in that way, people will begin taking responsibility for helping each other and the entire team where they see it necessary.  Instead of just complaining and letting things slide. , there will be more unity, ownership and empowerment in the workplace.  With this approach it becomes less of a bragging situation of look at what I did right, to one where people feel a sense of responsibility saying it is up to me to figure out how I can help my team be better.