A New Day, A New Start

From the day we are born, we engage with others and begin to make decisions based on our experiences, our preferences for certain things, and our interactions with other people.  Our personality develops and our lives evolve into a collection of experiences resulting in what is commonly known as a life path.  We acknowledge our personal history, learn from it, live in the present and make plans for the future along this path.  As we traverse this path sometimes we may not like a direction it’s headed in, we decide to challenge ourselves, or feel that it’s time to improve upon ourselves in some way.  It is then that we engage in one of the most challenging things to do in life, creating a new start for ourselves.

The developments of modern technology have not matched the science fiction story telling of books and movies, therefore traveling back in time to accomplish a completely new start is impossible to do.  Yet there’s a natural mechanism we encounter every day that allows for us to create a new start.  It’s called a sunrise.  With the dawn of each day we have an opportunity to chart a new life path for ourselves and the possibility of starting something new when we wake up.

There are of course some life circumstances and the reality that we cannot make a drastic change from one end of the spectrum to the other overnight.  The manageable approach however is to make a conscious decision when the sun rises to do something different than our regular norm to create a better life for ourselves.  It’s easy to look for a conditional “if-then” excuse to try something new, or do something different in life, so let the sunrise and the start of a new day be that excuse.  We need to empower ourselves, dig deep into our intrinsic motivation and decide that today is the day that things begin to change for me. 

If eating healthier is a decidedly new start, then when waking up one day the first thought should be today I’m going to go grocery shopping for a healthier meal option, or I will start doing some research on how to create a healthier diet for myself.  Whether it’s quitting smoking, launching a business, learning an instrument, or even creating better more beneficial personal habits, the chance for a new start begins with a solitary decision to make a difference, and taking the first step.  That first step doesn’t have to be drastic, it just has to be a step in the direction of the new path you want to embark on.  From there, more steps can be taken and the momentum can be built upon as you move forward to that new start. 

The caveat here is not to get lost in the seductive misleading idea that change happens immediately and results will be automatic and significant in a short period of time.  That’s all too romantic of an idea and when results don’t happen as quickly as expected, it’s easy for frustration and quitting to lead into a dead end where progress is stifled.  It’s important to remember that good habits usually take about 21 days by conventional knowledge to take hold.  Time, dedication, and perseverance are the best assets to creating a new path.   But we need to remember that just like a huge oak tree comes from a tiny acorn, big changes come from just the first step, no matter how small it might be.

We are Under Construction

Recently, I’ve been able to sit on my patio as I write my posts.  Sometimes I will look up from my screen to pull together some thoughts on the topic before my fingers dance across the keyboard bringing those thoughts to fruition.  During this ritual of creating my recent posts I’ve watched a building being built in what used to be an empty lot across the street.   While seeing this building develop, and reflecting on my own journey in life, it struck me how we are all always under construction, and that we are constantly building on ourselves.

As any good realtor (commercial or residential) will tell you, one of the most important things about a property is location, location, location.  As we look at our lives and think about how we want to develop as a person, this comes down to our environment.  You can apply this to an actual physical location such as a city where you live, or in a figurative way such as being in a certain type of situation.  Either way, the environment that you are in can truly influence how you will build yourself up as a person.  If it is a negative space where you are bombarded with criticism, and judgment the opportunity for you to build confidence and strength will be more difficult.  Whereas an environment filled with encouragement and support will tend to allow you to flourish and truly develop as you would like to.

This brings me to your foundation.  Before any sort of frame is constructed for a building the foundation is made sound and secure.  Depending on the type of building being built and location, the foundation will be created in different ways to secure the structure appropriately.  When we are looking to develop ourselves it’s important that we are based on a firm foundation.  Now this will vary from person to person, but your core ideals such as morals, values and ethics are good examples of a foundation.  Being solid and firm in these three things can really help to guide you through different situations as they arise regardless of whatever stress comes along.  No two buildings are the same, so it’s important that you’re developing your own foundation and go with what works for you as an individual.

Once a building’s foundation is set and ready, the structural support is constructed.  These are the studs that frame the structure of the building.  It’s important to think about what you are using to build yourself up with.  Anything too weak, and at the first tempest you can easily come crashing down.  Instead, build yourself up with a strong material that can weather anything.  Sure most buildings might lose a few bricks and shingles in a storm, but most importantly the structure needs to be strong and stable.  Some suggestions are setting standards for yourself, deciding on what type of attitude you will engage others with, declaring that you will be a positive person and finding the silver lining in situations.  These are the things that will help you to withstand adversity as you’re presented with it.   The main question to ask is: “Are you developing yourself in a way that you can endure unexpected positive and negative life experiences?”

Once the structure is created, it is time to put on the walls which translates into the things you surround yourself with.  I’ve written about this more in depth in my post ‘Your Friends Are Your Future’.  But similar to location, this has a huge influence on you.  An aesthetic building is surrounded by walls that enhance the structure behind the walls.  In a comparable way, we must surround ourselves with people who will bring the best out of us and help us to show the beauty of our personality.  If we just put up any old wall covering the building does not reflect the original design.  Similarly if we surround ourselves with just anyone, we can be stifled and held back from developing into the person we desire to become.    

Once a building is almost finished, the next thing to do is to fill it with furniture and decorate, which will enhance the inside of it.  We too need to fill ourselves with things that will make us better people.  This can come in a variety of forms, and much like furniture some things will stay around forever, and some might be a short lived experience.  Challenging ourselves to try something new, getting an education on a topic, eating healthier, learning a new skill, reading a good book, or delving deeper into a religion are all ways to fill ourselves with things that will help us to improve and build a strong person.

As you develop and build yourself into the person you want to be, it is important that you have planned and can expect expansion.  This is significant because as I stated in the beginning of this post, we are always under construction.  Life changes, causing us to change, and to grow as people.  Expansion does not specifically refer to finding a partner and expanding your family, but that can be a part of it.  What I mean by expansion is being ready to change and add on to yourself as you gain experiences.  Many buildings have a wing added on in the future, or a room, and some will double in their square footage to meet a demand.  We must be willing to grow and improve on ourselves as our lives change.  A catalyst for change can be a new partner in our life, or it could be a new career, or moving to a new city where we will experience change.  The process of expansion is very similar to how we’ve developed from the foundation all the way through the same steps as we become better people.  It’s never easy to put up a building and it isn’t a fast process.  It takes a lot of time, a lot of people and lots of planning.  We are no different.  We build ourselves up over time, it takes many people supporting us in our lives, and we have to set goals in order to develop into the person we want to become.