Reach Higher

As I begin blogging again, I found inspiration for this blog’s topic from Michigan State University’s football team.  The team’s motto for the 2015 season is ‘Reach Higher’.  The statement very easily lends itself to a visceral interpretation of doing better and going further.  A motto that is fitting for a team that over the years has had increasingly great success in its regular seasons, bowl game appearances, and is sitting at the cusp of yet another banner year this year.  Without bragging about a team that I’m very proud of from my alma mater, let’s look into why this is a motto that is extremely pertinent to all of us whether you love or loathe football.

Let’s start with a simple experiment for illustrative purposes.  This will cause you to leave the screen you’re reading this on, so please come back to finish.  Don’t leave me behind in awe of the results.  Ready?  Here is the first instruction: stand against a wall and reach as high as you can.  Make sure that when you do this, you have a way to mark how high you were able to reach.  Return to a resting position, and come back to the screen for the second set of instructions.  Part 2: Do the exact same thing again, and you will probably be surprised that you can reach higher the second time.  Interesting right?

This type of phenomenon happens to us in our personal and professional lives quite often.  We work hard and give 100% of our effort to achieve a goal that we’ve been working towards.  The goal is attainable, but really expends a lot of energy as we’ve tried as hard as we can to accomplish it.  There’s a lot of pride that comes with reaching it, but we must remember not to get lost in the celebration.  Instead, if we focused our energy, concentrated and kept on pushing just a little harder we would be reaching higher and could achieve even more than we thought we could.

The biggest trap that we can fall into is being mesmerized by our initial success.  The intoxicating joy of achievement can easily lull us into a safe place of satisfaction.  Satisfaction is the worst enemy you can have when greatness in your personal or professional life is what you want.  Satisfaction means we’re too comfortable and settling for mediocrity.  The reality is, no one great was ever mediocre, and they were always pushing for the next goal to achieve, the next precipice to climb, the next business venture to embark on, and on and on.

Just when we thought we couldn’t get any better we aim to push a little more and reach higher and we can get an even better result.  Michigan State’s football team is illustrating their motto right now and we are watching it unfold before us.  Their head coach Mark Dantonio in his job acceptance press conference stated “My vision here is to win championships.  That’s my vision.”  He’s held true to this vision winning Bowl Games, Big Ten Division Championships, and Big Ten League Championships.  The success, and rate at which the program has achieved it, could be dizzying and very easy to be comfortable with.  But instead of being satisfied with their success, this year they are reaching higher and aiming for a National Championship.

This is the type of mindset that we need to carry with us.  It’s a hunger to keep achieving, to keep reaching higher just when we thought we reached high enough.

I’ve already proved to you that you can do it physically through the experiment that we started with.  So why not prove it to yourself through your accomplishments to reach the greatness that you desire and push a little further to surprise yourself with even more success.

 

 

A New Day, A New Start

From the day we are born, we engage with others and begin to make decisions based on our experiences, our preferences for certain things, and our interactions with other people.  Our personality develops and our lives evolve into a collection of experiences resulting in what is commonly known as a life path.  We acknowledge our personal history, learn from it, live in the present and make plans for the future along this path.  As we traverse this path sometimes we may not like a direction it’s headed in, we decide to challenge ourselves, or feel that it’s time to improve upon ourselves in some way.  It is then that we engage in one of the most challenging things to do in life, creating a new start for ourselves.

The developments of modern technology have not matched the science fiction story telling of books and movies, therefore traveling back in time to accomplish a completely new start is impossible to do.  Yet there’s a natural mechanism we encounter every day that allows for us to create a new start.  It’s called a sunrise.  With the dawn of each day we have an opportunity to chart a new life path for ourselves and the possibility of starting something new when we wake up.

There are of course some life circumstances and the reality that we cannot make a drastic change from one end of the spectrum to the other overnight.  The manageable approach however is to make a conscious decision when the sun rises to do something different than our regular norm to create a better life for ourselves.  It’s easy to look for a conditional “if-then” excuse to try something new, or do something different in life, so let the sunrise and the start of a new day be that excuse.  We need to empower ourselves, dig deep into our intrinsic motivation and decide that today is the day that things begin to change for me. 

If eating healthier is a decidedly new start, then when waking up one day the first thought should be today I’m going to go grocery shopping for a healthier meal option, or I will start doing some research on how to create a healthier diet for myself.  Whether it’s quitting smoking, launching a business, learning an instrument, or even creating better more beneficial personal habits, the chance for a new start begins with a solitary decision to make a difference, and taking the first step.  That first step doesn’t have to be drastic, it just has to be a step in the direction of the new path you want to embark on.  From there, more steps can be taken and the momentum can be built upon as you move forward to that new start. 

The caveat here is not to get lost in the seductive misleading idea that change happens immediately and results will be automatic and significant in a short period of time.  That’s all too romantic of an idea and when results don’t happen as quickly as expected, it’s easy for frustration and quitting to lead into a dead end where progress is stifled.  It’s important to remember that good habits usually take about 21 days by conventional knowledge to take hold.  Time, dedication, and perseverance are the best assets to creating a new path.   But we need to remember that just like a huge oak tree comes from a tiny acorn, big changes come from just the first step, no matter how small it might be.

Follow Your Passion

I recently saw a meme that said “Purpose is the reason you journey. Passion is the fire that lights your way.”  Unfortunately I don’t have a person to credit that to because there wasn’t a name listed, but it was timely that I came across it.  We always hear in motivational speaking, books, memes on social media, etc. catchy phrases such as “Follow your passion”, or “Do what you love”.  I have found it to be solid advice and letting passion light my way (as the meme says) has helped me on my own personal journey thus far, which is why I want to share my experience with you encouraging you to follow your passion.

As you read this blog post, it serves as substantial evidence that following your passion can lead to successful results.  All my life I’ve enjoyed writing in a variety of forms because I believed in the art of words and how they can touch someone reading them.  That passion lead me into my Master’s Degree program in Health Communications, but I digress.  While I was in the midst of starting an active job search about a year and a half ago, a close friend that I look up to, sent me a couple blog posts of a guy who had been in my similar position.  He started following his passion, which eventually developed into his own personal business.  Admittedly I was immediately emotionally touched by the posts and felt like they were speaking directly to me at a time when I needed encouragement.  The next day I taught myself how to start a blog site, and started developing content to post. 

My first post was “Coaching at Work” and went up on August 20, 2013.  I had no idea what direction my site would take, but I knew this is what I loved doing about topics I enjoyed writing about.  Fast forward to today and my writing has taken off.  I’ll be honest, I don’t have a job in it, but it has opened up doors for me in areas I never expected allowing for the potential for even more job opportunities.  Since that day, 3650 views, across 46 posts that I’ve written, it is now a part of the New World Flood website which I was not a part of previous to this post.  I’ve also been able to write a few articles for a statewide Texas Magazine covering events in Austin, TX, national ones such as South by Southwest, and the ESPN X Games as well as writing social media copy for a couple business websites.  I say all this not to brag, but to serve as proof that things can start happening if you follow your passion.  All too often we get sucked into empty motivation where people will suggest doing something and they have no proof that it works, or that success can come from it, and I’m sharing my own personal examples to prove that it can happen.

If you Google ‘Follow Your Passion’ you will find a fair amount of people who disagree with that line of thinking.  Those that disagree will assert that you should “Love what you do”, and “Do what contributes”.  They will also suggest that in areas where there are a small number of successful people at the top, professional athletes, political offices, company CEOs, that it can be discouraging if following your passion doesn’t land a person in those positions.  A person’s opinion is a person’s opinion, but I ask you to make your own decision and question, why does it have to be mutually exclusive? 

There is a chance that you are currently in a job that might not be in a field or involve tasks that you are passionate about.  That’s reality, that’s life.  But in the process of following the advice of “Love what you do” and unifying it with “Follow your passion” why not try to think of creative ways to incorporate something you are passionate about into the work that you currently do?  For example if you work at a call center but you’re passionate about knitting why not start knitting during your lunch breaks and offer to make items for coworkers.  If you work at a bank, but your passion is boating you can start a boating club that coworkers can join and you can teach them about boating.  This can even extend beyond the work place.  Once you’ve identified your passion, you live in a community that has a wide variety of people living in them with different interests.  In the process of “Doing what has value” and following your passion, your passion might fulfill a niche within your community that can engage and help others in ways you never imagined.

The bottom line here is that as a human being regardless of where you come from, how much money you have, or what your culture is, we share some very basic tenets of personality.  We all have things that we are passionate about, we all have a desire to matter and make a difference, and we all have a value of some sort.  If we can harness, and combine those things together, what we are passionate about can make a difference and provide a value (monetary or not) to the community we live in and beyond.  Sometimes that value can even be very validating of our sense of self and help to make meaning of the world.  As you finish reading this post I encourage you to find your passion, think of ways that it can manifest itself in your life, and then follow it to success.

Farming Your Goals

I found my muse for this week’s post while sitting in a church pew this past Sunday.  Don’t worry, my post is not religion specific, and I promise not to preach to you as my reader.  As always my aim is to stimulate your thought, but you can be assured that regardless of where you fall on the religious belief spectrum, you will not feel disconnected to this week’s post. 

I was listening to the pastor’s sermon about a parable Jesus told his followers about a farmer planting his seeds.  With great intent I focused on paying attention, but admittedly my thoughts immediately wandered into the application of this parable about half way into it.  Based on the definition of a parable, the purpose is a real world application of a story.  Therefore the guilt I felt for day dreaming was very short lived since I was fulfilling the basic mission of parables.

The story talked about how the farmer tried to plant his seeds among various types of soil without harvesting a successful yield.  There were either crows that ate the seeds, the sun shriveled up the plants due to an arid climate, the soil was too sandy without much nutrients, or there were competing plant species stifling out the plants.  Then finally he planted them in just the right soil with the right nutrients away from predation by any natural elements such as birds or environmental factors and his yield was overwhelmingly abundant. 

While in my distracted contemplation of the story, I considered the farmer’s seeds as the lofty goals we set for ourselves, and the everyday objectives that we try to achieve in our lives.  It isn’t uncommon that many of us set out to achieve our goals and objectives but in doing so, we rely on the wrong resources, the wrong people, or even sometimes we are in the wrong location.  Unreliable people, faulty resources and bad locations serve as examples of environmental factors that can prevent us from achieving what we want to, or as the result in the farmer story, an unsuccessful yield.   

Our goals and objectives have to be rooted in situations where they can grow to become accomplishments.  Through the nourishment of our hard work, the right people, the right resources and location to name a few things, we are similar to the farmer who has to put in effort to water, remove weeds, and fertilize his plants to grow so that his crop can have a high yield. 

The farm of life that is filled with the plants of our goals, and objectives is one that sometimes takes time to grow.  A farmer will tell you that not all years in farming are banner years for crops but farmers do not take those setbacks and quit after one bad year.  Therefore similar to life where we are faced with failures in our goals and objectives we can’t quit either when faced with failures in our attempts to achieve certain goals or objectives.  Sometimes those things were not meant to be, and sometimes we need to just replant them, or in other words restart from a seedling again to create a better and stronger plant. 

A more drastic but sometimes necessary measure is completely moving the farm and starting in a new environment because that soil has been depleted of all supportive nutrients for the plants.  A new beginning in new soil is necessary sometimes.  This can easily be translated into a new job, a new work environment, a different city, or even a certain state where we may need to be in order for our goals and objectives to become more attainable.  Also crucial to this scenario is planting the proper crops or setting appropriate goals and objectives.  Going from a couch to a CEO might not be a direct manageable goal, but starting out with going for a supervisor role, then a middle management position, moving into an upper management role and then working into a CEO role is an example of planting the right seeds at the right times.

Whatever our goals and objectives are, it’s important that we are mindful that we are planting the right seeds in the right soil.  It’s also important that we are nourishing those goals and objectives with the hard work necessary to make them come to fruition.  While paying attention to these factors and removing the weeds, or the roadblocks from our lives holding us back from success, it is only a matter of time before our goals and objectives progress and sprout into attainment.

Why Should I Be Average?

The question in this title is one that typically elicits a reactionary response of “I don’t want to be average.”  Which rightfully should be the response to a question like that.  However, I’ve been noticing more and more that mediocrity is slowly becoming an acceptable standard and it’s puzzling.  Mediocrity is the state of being mediocre and settling for less than the best, when in fact none of us should be satisfied unless we are the best, and constantly striving to be better. 

Let me share with you an experience I had while attending a job fair.  I was talking to the company recruiter about his company which shall remain nameless.  During the conversation he quotes to me, without my solicitation of the information, that their average sales person makes X dollars a month.  The statement caught me off guard because the recruiter stated that he served in a sales position before joining the recruiting team.  Therefore inherent in his explanation of his company I was expecting a well-crafted pitch to sell me on working for his company.  Instead I was left questioning if that would be a company I’d even be interested in working for, if they are sharing what their average employee makes.  I want to work for a company that expects the best and sets the bar high.  Tell me what your best employee makes so that I know what my potential is for a successful experience.  I’m not interested in your average employee, because if I come to work for you, I’m not there to cash a check and be average, I’m there to be successful and climb the ladder.

I’ve seen this lately in sports as well through different press conferences.  Without trying to turn you off by talking about sports, or elicit any feelings about the Miami Heat, I was struck by something that their coach said in a press conference after losing the NBA championship.  He made a statement saying at least we’ve made it to The Finals four times in the past four years.  Now don’t get me wrong, I’m all about finding a silver lining because I wrote a post about it (When Life Happens), and I acknowledge that there is a significant achievement in making it that far through the season.  However, in the moments after losing a championship, one would expect a substantial amount of disappointment at the outset, followed in the days to come by rallying, trying to find the bright side and moving forward.  Yet this coach who is in a leadership role with the team seemed somewhat content immediately following the loss with having made it that far, stating we’re still ok.  Where is the disappointment of not being the best?  Why did this seem like an acceptance of being just good enough to get that far?

The idea here is why settle for being just good enough?  Should it really be appropriate to be content with at least I tried?  I assert a firm no to those questions.  Settling for average will only get you average results, an average life, with the support of average people.  We should not be content with just making it, or content with what the typical person does, we need to persevere and aim to supersede those thresholds and excel with an overwhelming amount of success.  Will failure happen?  Absolutely.  We all fail in life.  (I’ll address that in a future post)  But we need to get back up after those failures and say “I will succeed”, “I will not settle for having at least tried”, “I will not stop at good enough, I will be better than good enough”.  This is the sphere of a successful driving force that we need to exist in.

Our own contentment with mediocrity will allow us to be passed by others who are working hard for success.  While patting ourselves on the back for a job well done by trying so hard, those who won’t settle for that are working hard to gain an advantage, and they will be the ones setting the higher bar and achieving great things.  We shouldn’t allow that to happen.  We should be the ones setting that bar through blood, sweat and tears, making a commitment to ourselves to expect the best, and then make that expectation a reality.

Meaningful Connections

Last week I had the pleasure to attend a social gathering with a guest speaker named Jan Goss-Gibson.  While trying not to sound like an advertisement for her, she is a speaker, author, and executive trainer, who is a confidence strategist and helps with first impression management, and a host of other related topics.  During her talk to the attendees of the event, she really honed in on the importance of making a connection with someone else.  In doing so, Jan shared some tips on appropriate body language, as well as some social etiquette tips to engage with others socially in a business setting. 

I left the event with a lot of appreciation for what she talked about, as well as the conversation I had with her after she spoke.  We talked more about the importance of connecting with others, but something she said that night to the group stuck out in my mind.  She said “Someone in this room could have the answer to a problem you’ve been trying to solve, but you would never know it unless you make a connection with them.”  After she said it, she encouraged us to mingle and network but I could not stop thinking how accurate a statement that was long after the event.  I frequently write about intrinsic motivation to be successful, and personal perseverance to overcome adversity, but admittedly there is another variable in the equation to become successful and that’s meaningful connections with others.  Meeting other people who may have resources to help support an endeavor, or connecting with someone to create a business partnership are just a few examples of how connecting with someone can help progress an ambition to a successful end.

In today’s society, we are “connected” with so many different people through social media, internet sites, and cell phones.  I use connected with a quote around it because while we are very “connected” with the ability to talk or meet someone miles away with the push of a button, or click on a website we can still be very disconnected interpersonally.  What Jan was talking about at the event, is what I believe is becoming a lost art of a personal connection face to face. 

This is not an assault on social media or technology because the things you can do with it are great.  I’m an administrator for a few business social media sites and it helps consumers stay connected to those businesses, so I can appreciate the usefulness in such situations.  But in a world where we “connect” with others through hashtags, 140 character tweets, Vine videos, Instagram pics,  and liking something on Facebook, the ability to effectively walk up to a stranger at a networking event for example and introduce yourself is becoming scarce.  The ability to carry a conversation and genuinely connect with that person while making them feel comfortable and relaxed is something that is getting lost and something that needs to be regained. 

These are the connections that Jan is encouraging and what I feel are very important in order to become successful.  The ability to actively listen to someone else, not just hear, but actually listen, process, and connect with what they are saying is a major part of this art of connecting but it is slowly going the way of the dinosaur.  With attention spans causing a ‘tech itch’ to check cell phones, check email, or disengage after a few moments, it’s important that we get back to truly connecting with each other the way we did before we were bombarded with technology.

In a previous blog titled “The Little Things in Life” I addressed mindfulness and encouraged being more aware of one’s environment as opposed to being distracted by the everyday technologies we have succumbed to.  It was a self-imposed challenge that I invited my readers to join.  Since attending the event and hearing Jan Goss-Gibson, I have taken on another personal challenge that I’d invite you to join in on as well.  It’s a challenge to make more meaningful connections with others, and genuinely engage people when in social situations.  Since the event, I’ve found it to be a fun challenge and I’ve met some great people through it which I hope is similar to your experience.  If you want more tips on how to do this (and I’m not receiving any kickbacks by sharing this with you) you should definitely check out some of the programs that Jan Goss-Gibson provides at her website http://civilityconsulting.com/. 

Life Lessons from Soccer

Soccer is a sport that I grew up watching, loving and playing.  With World Cup 2014 happening in Brazil right now, I find myself fondly reminiscing of my own experiences playing the sport, while being fully enthralled in watching games and highlights.  Playing the sport has taught me a lot of life lessons and concepts of team, team management, and leadership.  I felt that it was fitting for this week’s post to share my soccer-influenced insights on those topics during what is easily the largest, most impactful, and most watched sporting event worldwide.  If you’re not a fan of the sport, hopefully you’ll have a different appreciation for it after reading this.

The way that shot taking and scoring a goal occurs in soccer, is very similar to the way an employee team approaches a goal in the workplace or another situation.  While watching a game you’ll notice the amount of passing among the teammates much like different parts of a project get passed between employees contributing to a larger goal.  In a team work situation sometimes there are big surges forward in the process of completing a major project, but sometimes it’s important to pull back, regroup, and approach the goal from a different angle, because the first strategy might not be as successful as another one.  This is similar to how a team in soccer will build up to taking a shot on the field.  You’ll notice that there are a lot of forward passes, but sometimes it’s necessary to stop, pass it backward, reposition the players and then approach the goal in a different way on the other side of the field.

You’ll also notice that in soccer there are no time outs, the clock doesn’t stop and players don’t get a break.  As a player on the field, I was very familiar with conditioning and preparing for the long haul of playing non-stop.  In this role, you have to be ready to take on any challenges from people trying to keep you from achieving your goal of scoring and it’s essential to keep pressing on even if you’re tired.  This is such a straightforward and clear analogy for life.  Life doesn’t stop just because you’re tired or beat down from the challenges you’ve endured.  If you give up it will keep going without you, and you’ll be left out.  Most importantly, while focusing on life goals, you prepare yourself for the challenges you’ll face, and for the experiences you’ll have so that you can persevere under any circumstance for the long haul, just like conditioning for a soccer game.  It’s important to push beyond your comfort zones on a regular basis just like you would in a workout, because when it comes time for the true test, or ‘game time’, as it’s sometimes referred to, you’ll have to have the stamina to keep going and achieve the goal to be successful.

Learning how to fit on a team is another truly great lesson I’ve learned from playing soccer over the years.  I’ve played mostly as a forward or some will call it a striker when I played soccer (it’s the position that’s very offensive minded, shooting, scoring goals, etc.)  While this position is very offensive minded, depending on the situation or the team we were playing against, sometimes I would have to get pulled back into the midfield area to help out my teammates.  There were also situations where if we were playing a really great offensive team and if they were kicking a corner kick (when the team trying to score kicks it in play from the flag in the corner) I would be pulled back to help out on defense a bit.  The scenarios are endless but the point is that sometimes even though I was assigned a specific role I had to be flexible to help out the team in the way that they needed me at the right time, and other players on the team had to do the same thing. 

Quite often it is up to the player in the moment to make the decision of “How can I help the team be better and what do they need from me right now?”  This is not at all dissimilar from being on a team in a work/committee/organization situation.  In order to help the team out it’s necessary to be willing to help those other teammates out to complete a task or project, and support them.  Being inflexible on the field can result in a negative effect such as the other team scoring because someone was left open.  Much like in a teamwork situation being inflexible can lead to the team not completing the project.  The most important thing to understand on the field is that I am helping to pass the ball contributing to the process of shooting, scoring and winning, so I’m just as important to the team as anyone else.  That’s what teamwork is about, it’s about advancing the team, not about gaining all the glory.

The biggest gripe that many people have about soccer is the lack of scoring.  It’s not uncommon to have a final score of 1-0, 0-0 or 2-0 after 90 (plus a couple few) minutes of playing.  The reality is that this works much like achieving goals in our everyday lives.  It’s very easy to put a lot of hard work an effort into something just to achieve one or two results.  Then you focus on your next major achievement (the next game) and put a lot of time and effort into that.  Sometimes you achieve your objective or score one or two goals in a game, and sometimes you end up with zero or needing to try again harder the next time.  In the end it’s all a part of the process of getting better.

As you can see soccer has taught me a lot that I’ve applied to many different work and leadership positions.  The list could go on, but I wanted to highlight just a few of them.  Some of you reading this might feel that theater, playing in a band or another sport has taught you some of your own lessons.  I think that’s great and all the more reason that we should regularly have kids involved in such activities because of the transferable lessons that can be attained from such experiences.  There are a lot more World Cup matches to be watched, and hopefully what I’ve shared here can help you appreciate or think of the game in a different way. 

 

Thank You Dad

With Sunday rapidly approaching, Father’s Day is getting closer and closer.  I vowed to write about my dad and give him his time in the spotlight after writing a post about my mom on the Tuesday leading up to Mother’s Day, so here we are.  I want to focus on him and talk a little bit about why he’s so special to me and hopefully some of what you read will remind you of your own dad or someone who played a father figure in your life.

Father’s Day is a special day for me because it always causes me to reflect on my dad and the impact he has had in my life, but it also causes me to think about the type of father I want to be when that time happens.  I don’t have any kids right now and I have to say that I really look forward to the day when I become a dad.  I’m not rushing into anything, but I eagerly anticipate that time with a certain fondness because of my own positive childhood experiences, and I aim to live up to my dad’s model of fatherhood to my child(ren).

Some of my earliest memories of my dad are quality time experiences of him teaching me to ride a bike, watching Saturday morning cartoons, and sledding together.  I also learned how to play soccer from him, and he was an assistant coach on a couple of my youth league teams.  Whether he was a coach on the team or not, on the way home we would talk about the games I played in and throughout the week I would pull him out into the backyard to practice kicking the ball around and to build my skills.  We would watch professional soccer games together on TV and also get excited about the World Cup (I’m sure we will have some lively conversations about World Cup Brazil 2014 which kicks off soon).  I remember when I showed an interest in basketball too.  My dad went out, bought a rim, and made a backboard with a painted Spartan ‘S’ on it for my favorite team, Michigan State.  He put the whole thing on our garage above the door making sure it measured the regulation 10 feet, and we would spend many evenings in the driveway shooting around and hanging out.

My dad is a bit of the strong silent type until you get him warmed up and chatting.  Then watch out, because it will be open season for jokes, and some friendly funny sarcastic jabs.  If he starts to talk about a topic on national or world affairs, I learned very quickly at an early age that I would be in for one heck of an educational lesson.  You see my dad has a PhD in Political Science so one question about something on the national news can easily turn into a 2 hour conversation about the history of why that event happened, at least 5 or 6 potential outcomes of what the result can be, and who knows what other useful information will get thrown in there.  Even watching a movie (fictional or not) based on a historical event can turn into an eye opening educational moment with my dad.  I always listened in amazement at how much he knew, never getting bored, and I remember thinking as a child that I needed to get my dad on Jeopardy one day.  But those are some of the best conversations that I’ve had with my dad, and what has fueled my own curiosity to collect a wealth of knowledge and seek out answers.  Sometimes he wouldn’t give me the easy answer when I had a question and would say go look it up instead.  I wasn’t the happiest when I heard that because during a very significant part of my childhood there was no such thing as Google, or even the internet.  So paper cuts from reading and flipping through the encyclopedia and reporting back what I found was how I got to some answers from questions I had and then we would talk about what I found. 

Some of the other best conversations I had were sitting with my dad getting my hair cut.  He cut my hair throughout my entire life until I moved to Austin about 3 years ago.  Besides playing soccer and basketball with him, my haircuts have been some of the best father son times we have had so far.  We would engage in all sorts of great conversations about current events, things happening in school, dating, and almost any other life circumstance you can imagine.  Those were truly some special times that we spent together bonding as I learned life lessons, how to be a mature adult, and laughing together.

I’ve probably written it in numerous Father’s Day cards to him, but if I could achieve even half the things as a father that my dad has done for me, I would consider myself a great dad.  I’m not even referring to the financial support side of things because my best memories were never rooted in a dollar amount that he spent on me, but quality time spent together as I grew up.  That’s one of the things that makes my dad so special to me, is the quality time we have spent together.

Whether it was going to my first Yankee game with him, watching Saturday morning cartoons together, learning about worldly events, playing sports together, laughing together or anything else, my dad has always been there for me.  I understand what a privilege that is, and I am absolutely grateful for having that relationship with him, so I do not take it for granted at all.  My goal is that when I become a father that I can be a great dad for my child(ren) the way he has been for me.  He’s my role model as a man and a father, a best friend, a fill in older brother (since I’m an only child), and one heck of a great listener.  Love you Dad.

This pic is from my family's 1st visit to old Yankee Stadium the year they closed it.

Definitely in my top 10 of father-son moments with my dad.

Going for the Gold

Here in Austin, Texas the city is alive with the buzz of ESPN X Games Austin 2014 kicking off on Wednesday.  The ESPN X Games Austin 2014 crew has been here for a while making plans, and constructing what will be a tour de force of fun, sports and music happening downtown, at Austin 360 Amphitheater and at Circuit of the Americas.    The competition will be undoubtedly fierce in a variety of events for gold medals.   

You see, whether you’re a fan of an event that will be here, whether you’ve never seen any of the events before, or even if you don’t care about the X Games Austin 2014, we all are a part of our own process in going for gold medals in our lives just like the athletes competing.  That’s what I want to talk about this week is 3 major components of going for the gold in our own lives.

So far I’ve already had the privilege of talking with Chase Hawk (BMX), and Jay Reichert (Stadium SUPER Trucks), two of the athletes participating in this year’s games and the common thread between them and you and I is that the pursuit of professional and personal goals is a long committed process.  Both athletes talked about how they got started and stayed committed to their sport, practicing and participating in competitions for a long time.  As you pursue your own personal or professional goals it too can be a long arduous process that has its trials and tribulations.  Getting a raise might be followed up the next year by getting overlooked for one.  Maybe you’re saving up to launch your own business but the financial woes you face keep putting it on hold.  It could even be a situation where you keep just adding on voluntary tasks to strengthen your resume to be ready for when you find your dream job so that you can be qualified to apply.  Much like the athletes I spoke to who are successful at reaching and participating on a grand stage, you too will eventually succeed, and land that consistent raise, launch that business, and secure that dream job so that you are in that position to get your own gold medal in life. 

The work ethic however must be driven by passion a second necessary component to achieving gold.  We must have an intrinsic motivation and love of the pursuit process of our goals.  While talking to Jay Reichert, it was obvious that he absolutely loved driving Stadium SUPER Trucks.  After only one question he lit up as he talked about what it was like in the driver seat of his truck during a race, and had story after story of other races, practice runs, wrecks, and even what it was like to analyze the truck’s performance in trials.  That’s the type of passion we must have to transform our dreams into reality.  There has to be a passion about how we talk about our goals, and the work that we are doing to achieve them.  The intrinsic motivation and joy that we feel, should be palpable to anyone who asks, or observes us as we pursue our hopes and dreams.

Throughout the process of chasing our own gold medals, it is imperative to continuously set and aim for new goals.  We need to be battle tested as we move forward and test ourselves with various opportunities that come up.  This part of the pursuit process helps us to prepare for our shining moment.  This could be taking on a project that utilizes our skills, maybe taking an extra class, getting involved in an association outside of work, or anything else that will enhance our skill development and prepare us for our end goal.  These are all a part of the proverbial ‘corporate ladder’, because a ladder exists in all processes of pursuing a dream.  Each rung is further progression to the top of your game.  Much like these X Games Austin 2014 athletes are involved in circuit competitions around the United States, and some around the world which serve as their rungs of the ladder while they pursue a gold medal.

As we work at achieving our own gold medals through hard work, determination and success it’s important that we remember that it’s a process, we must maintain our passions, and be constantly ready to be tested along the way.   Sometimes we will get a few silver and bronzes along the way, but that gold is waiting and it’s achievable.  It will happen.

 

 

Be Refined, Not Defined

After being faced with disappointment, or a negative outcome have you ever just sat there thinking to yourself why me?  It may feel like a lonely spot at the time, but we have all been in that position before, so you’re definitively not alone.  This pivotal moment is where people are either made or broken.  The proverbial fork in the road where we decide to keep on trying or to let this moment be our demise.  People sometimes refer to it as a defining moment in their life.  I challenge that way of thinking and assert that one experience should not define an entire dynamic life because a person should not forever be defined by one experience.  Sure it might be a remarkable turning point, but instead it should be a refining moment.  The moment that helps create a better, stronger more successful person.

If you’ve ever watched a sculptor sculpt anything with a clay medium, you’re aware of what it takes to make a beautiful work of art.  It starts out as a rough art medium with no specific structure, looking like absolutely nothing at all.  Sometimes throughout the process the sculptor will add smaller globs of clay to the sculpture and mold and shape it incorporating it into the entire object.  Then over time, with sweat, effort, and refining movements using their hands and tools, it begins to take shape until the sculpture eventually emerges as a beautiful work of art.

This is how we need to attack those moments of misery, failed attempts, broken dreams and despair.  It starts out as something that is completely ugly and undesirable, much like a boring glob of clay.  It’s difficult to see what the end result will be and what can come from something so unattractive.

Just like sculpting a work of art we must take time, concentration and care to refine ourselves through these moments.  Each obstacle and challenge we face is like adding on another ball of clay to the sculpture that we must incorporate into our beautiful and successful self.  These adversities are added to our lives in the midst of our pursuit of our goals and dreams.  We must take them in stride and like the artist scrape away the unwanted bits that are not helpful to keep and let them go.  Then we mold and shape the lessons and experiences left from these moments using them to refine us into a better person. 

Therefore we can’t let our situations and these moments define who we are.  Sure these situations will influence our lives, but we cannot let them control our lives, we need to be in control of our lives. That is the difference between being defined and refined.  If we choose to be defined by our circumstances we are never controlling our destiny.  Instead we become bystanders in our own lives instead of active participants.  Who wants to be the audience of their own life?  We should be the director, producer and also play the lead role.  It’s our life!

We should constantly be looking for what we can learn from these experiences and how those lessons can make us into a better person.  Tomorrow is coming and we can’t dwell on the negative for too long.  It’s alright to feel the frustration and the pain for a little bit, that’s a natural part of the process.  An artist takes time to look at what they will sculpt from to decide on a plan of action to start working.  In a similar way, we too can take some time to create our own plan of action to sculpt our situation into a way to make us a more successful person.

With each refining moment, we are constantly improving, much like the sculptor improves their sculpture with each carving gesture to become increasingly accurate to their vision.  With each challenge we are faced with we are gaining preparation for something greater in our future and getting that much closer to becoming who we want to be.

This won’t be the first time we will meet a challenge, and it certainly won’t be the last.  But what we do with it will determine whether we are refined or defined.