Meaningful Connections

Last week I had the pleasure to attend a social gathering with a guest speaker named Jan Goss-Gibson.  While trying not to sound like an advertisement for her, she is a speaker, author, and executive trainer, who is a confidence strategist and helps with first impression management, and a host of other related topics.  During her talk to the attendees of the event, she really honed in on the importance of making a connection with someone else.  In doing so, Jan shared some tips on appropriate body language, as well as some social etiquette tips to engage with others socially in a business setting. 

I left the event with a lot of appreciation for what she talked about, as well as the conversation I had with her after she spoke.  We talked more about the importance of connecting with others, but something she said that night to the group stuck out in my mind.  She said “Someone in this room could have the answer to a problem you’ve been trying to solve, but you would never know it unless you make a connection with them.”  After she said it, she encouraged us to mingle and network but I could not stop thinking how accurate a statement that was long after the event.  I frequently write about intrinsic motivation to be successful, and personal perseverance to overcome adversity, but admittedly there is another variable in the equation to become successful and that’s meaningful connections with others.  Meeting other people who may have resources to help support an endeavor, or connecting with someone to create a business partnership are just a few examples of how connecting with someone can help progress an ambition to a successful end.

In today’s society, we are “connected” with so many different people through social media, internet sites, and cell phones.  I use connected with a quote around it because while we are very “connected” with the ability to talk or meet someone miles away with the push of a button, or click on a website we can still be very disconnected interpersonally.  What Jan was talking about at the event, is what I believe is becoming a lost art of a personal connection face to face. 

This is not an assault on social media or technology because the things you can do with it are great.  I’m an administrator for a few business social media sites and it helps consumers stay connected to those businesses, so I can appreciate the usefulness in such situations.  But in a world where we “connect” with others through hashtags, 140 character tweets, Vine videos, Instagram pics,  and liking something on Facebook, the ability to effectively walk up to a stranger at a networking event for example and introduce yourself is becoming scarce.  The ability to carry a conversation and genuinely connect with that person while making them feel comfortable and relaxed is something that is getting lost and something that needs to be regained. 

These are the connections that Jan is encouraging and what I feel are very important in order to become successful.  The ability to actively listen to someone else, not just hear, but actually listen, process, and connect with what they are saying is a major part of this art of connecting but it is slowly going the way of the dinosaur.  With attention spans causing a ‘tech itch’ to check cell phones, check email, or disengage after a few moments, it’s important that we get back to truly connecting with each other the way we did before we were bombarded with technology.

In a previous blog titled “The Little Things in Life” I addressed mindfulness and encouraged being more aware of one’s environment as opposed to being distracted by the everyday technologies we have succumbed to.  It was a self-imposed challenge that I invited my readers to join.  Since attending the event and hearing Jan Goss-Gibson, I have taken on another personal challenge that I’d invite you to join in on as well.  It’s a challenge to make more meaningful connections with others, and genuinely engage people when in social situations.  Since the event, I’ve found it to be a fun challenge and I’ve met some great people through it which I hope is similar to your experience.  If you want more tips on how to do this (and I’m not receiving any kickbacks by sharing this with you) you should definitely check out some of the programs that Jan Goss-Gibson provides at her website http://civilityconsulting.com/.